What do you legally need to do when you end a de facto relationship?
Have you found yourself single again? Have you recently ended a de facto relationship and are wondering, 'Well, what next?" Love, Life and Business are complicated (and often interconnected), so the process of 'decoupling' can take a while.
Navigating the aftermath of a de facto separation is one of life's most challenging experiences. For most folks who have never formally registered their de facto relationship status, this means there is also no form to complete, to 'unregister your relationship,' informing the world of your change in relationship status.
Read in this article
- Your Practical Checklist for Legally Ending a De Facto Relationship
- The first big question to ask: Registered and Unregistered relationships - Is there paperwork to sign?
- Start here
- The Urgent and Avoidable Mistakes
- The Checklist for decoupling de facto partners in NSW
- Just so you know
- Just so we're very clear
- FAQ's
- My ex-partner and I have separated, but we haven't signed any documents. Are we legally separated?
- I updated my Will a few years ago and left everything to my partner. Does separating automatically cancel that Will?
- I gave my ex-partner Power of Attorney. Surely they can't use that now that we've broken up?
- My superannuation is my biggest asset. Is it protected by my Will?
- We were only together for a few years and didn't own much. Do I still need to worry about a formal property settlement?
- Sources & Further Reading
Your Practical Checklist for Legally Ending a De Facto Relationship
Going through a relationship separation is one of life’s most stressful and emotional experiences. Amid the personal turmoil, it’s easy to overlook the practical, legal steps you must take to protect yourself and your future. As a financial adviser, I see too many people caught out by simple mistakes that turn a difficult breakup into a financial nightmare.
The first big question to ask: Registered and Unregistered relationships - Is there paperwork to sign?
There is a different start to the process, depending upon the relationships 'official' legal status.
- Registered de facto relationships: If you're in one of the Australia States or Territories where you were able to formally register your relationships, those same states and territories have formal systems to allow you to officially ‘unregister’ that relationship.
But what if your relationship was not registered? Is there paperwork to sign?
- Unregistered de facto relationships: If you were in an unregistered de facto relationship that has ended, there's no formal 'divorce' paper to sign - and this is where things can become complicated, so you need to take responsibility to officially end your unofficial relationship.
Our checklist below about essential actions and changes to make, will help you do that.
When ending an unregistered de facto relationship, what helps demonstrate that change in relationship status, can be a case-by-case-basis. What if you can't move out straight away but simply move rooms? Life can be problematic. The the concept of "what the next-door neighbour sees" was might be a helpful start.
Start here
The legal end is the date of your separation, and from that moment on, you need to act decisively to secure your assets.
- Generally, sending an email to the other party or moving out is sufficient. However, it is often a question of fact to be determined on a case-by-case basis.
Here is a straightforward checklist to regain control of your legal and financial life.
1. Formally Mark the Separation (and Start the Clock)
The law doesn’t need a certificate to recognise your separation, but it does need a date. This date is key because it starts a strict two-year time limit for either person to make a claim for a property settlement through the courts.
Your first step is to create a clear record of your separation date.
- Put it in writing: Send a simple, unambiguous text or email like, "Just to be clear, I consider our relationship to have ended as of today, [Insert Date]."
- Physically separate: One of you should move out.
- Act like you’re separated: Open your own bank accounts, tell Centrelink and your family, and start living your life independently.
2. The Essential ‘Life Admin’ Audit
Now it's time to think of every single document or account that connects you to your former partner. Your goal is to sever these ties as quickly as possible.
Your Immediate Checklist:
- Finances: Close all joint bank accounts, credit cards, and loans.
- Superannuation: This is non-negotiable. Your Will does not control your super. You must call your super fund today and complete a new Binding Death Benefit Nomination (BDBN). Fail to do this, and your entire super balance could end up with your ex.
- Life Insurance: Change the beneficiary on your life insurance policy. Update your health insurance from a couple's to a single's policy.
- Government & Utilities: Notify Centrelink, Medicare, the ATO, and all your utility providers (electricity, internet etc.) of your change in circumstances.
3. Your Old Will document is a Ticking Time Bomb
This is a legal trap that catches so many people in NSW. Separating from a de facto partner does not invalidate your Will.
If your Will names your ex-partner as a beneficiary or an executor, those terms remain legally binding. If you passed away tomorrow, your ex could be entitled to your assets and be in charge of your entire estate.
Pro Tip: The solution is simple: You must make a new Will immediately. This is the only way to ensure your assets go to the people you choose and are managed by someone you trust.
4. Revoke Your Power of Attorney (Before It’s Too Late)
If making a new Will is urgent, revoking your Power of Attorney is a five-alarm fire.
Just like a Will, a Power of Attorney appointing your ex-partner remains legally valid after you separate. This means they could, in theory, walk into your bank tomorrow and legally access your accounts.
While using that power for their own benefit is illegal, the damage could be done long before you can fix it in court. You cannot afford to leave that power in their hands.
To revoke it, you must:
- Sign a formal Deed of Revocation.
- Give a copy to your ex-partner so they are officially notified.
- Give a copy to your bank and any other institution that holds the old document.
Taking control of these four key areas is not just about paperwork; it's about safeguarding your financial independence and securing your peace of mind and exercising agency over your moving forward.
While it may feel overwhelming, each step you take is a powerful move toward building your new future on solid ground.
The Urgent and Avoidable Mistakes
After a de facto breakup, the biggest mistakes are often made in the first few weeks.
Failing to update key legal documents can leave your assets, including your superannuation and your home, exposed and at risk. To prevent a difficult separation from turning into a future financial nightmare, you need a clear action plan.
The Checklist for decoupling de facto partners in NSW
This guide provides a straightforward legal and financial checklist of the essential steps you must take immediately after separation to secure your assets, protect your future, and regain control.
- This essential checklist details the urgent steps every person in NSW must take to protect their assets and legally separate their affairs from a former partner."
Just so you know
For every Australian state and territory, except Western Australia, issues concerning property and spousal maintenance for separated de facto couples are dealt with under the federal Family Law Act 1975 that came into effect around 2009 (excluding WA), creating a largely uniform system for both married and de facto couples.
Just so we're very clear
For relationships in Western Australia, you can revoke an Enduring Power of Attorney (EPA) by signing a formal Deed of Revocation while you still have legal mental capacity.
- Revocation While Having Mental Capacity: You can revoke an EPA at any time, as long as you have the legal capacity to make that decision.
- Written Revocation: It's best practice to revoke the EPA in writing. This provides clear evidence of your decision.
- Notification: Inform your attorney and any other parties who were given a copy of the EPA about the revocation.
If you have any doubts or concerns about the revocation process, especially if there are questions about your capacity, always seek legal advice.
Our WA clients can learn more at the Western Australia government website for Enduring Power of Attorney.
Chart: Your Essential Checklist to Protect Your Future Self After a De Facto Separation
| Ending a De Facto Relationship in NSW | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Category | Task | Priority / Key Notes | Done |
| The Separation | Establish a Clear Separation Date | CRITICAL: This starts the 2-year time limit for property settlement claims. | |
| Communicate the separation in writing (text/email). | Creates a clear, provable record. | ||
| Physically separate households. | One person moves out of the shared home. | ||
| Legal Documents | Make a NEW Will | URGENT: Your old Will remains valid after separation. Your ex could still inherit everything. | |
| Formally REVOKE Power of Attorney | URGENT: Your ex may still have legal access to your finances. Must be formally revoked and the bank notified. | ||
| Formally REVOKE Enduring Guardianship | URGENT: Your ex may still have the power to make medical decisions for you. | ||
| Update Superannuation Beneficiary | CRITICAL: Change your Binding Death Benefit Nomination (BDBN). Your Will does NOT control your super. | ||
| Update Life Insurance Beneficiary | Ensure the payout goes to your intended recipient, not your former partner. | ||
| Finances & Assets | Separate Bank Accounts | Close all joint accounts and open new accounts in your sole name. | |
| Separate Credit Cards & Loans | Close all joint credit cards and liabilities to prevent future debts being incurred in your name. | ||
| Notifications | Notify Government Agencies | Update your relationship status with Centrelink, Medicare, and the ATO. | |
| Notify Service Providers | Update utilities (electricity, gas, internet) and remove your ex-partner from accounts. | ||
| Update Leases / Tenancy Agreements | Ensure you are not liable for rent or damages after you have moved out. | ||
FAQ's
Your about ending a de facto relationship Questions, Answered. Here’s a quick summary of what you need to know about ending a de facto relationship and the paperwork to adjust.
My ex-partner and I have separated, but we haven't signed any documents. Are we legally separated?
Yes, you are. This is the most critical point to understand. Unlike a marriage, there is no formal registration or 'divorce' process to end an unregistered de facto relationship in NSW. The relationship legally ends on the date of separation. This date is established the moment one of you decides the relationship is over, communicates it to the other, and you begin living separate lives. That's why creating a clear record of this date, even a simple text message—is so important, as it starts the two-year time limit for any property settlement claims.
I updated my Will a few years ago and left everything to my partner. Does separating automatically cancel that Will?
No, absolutely not. This is a dangerous legal trap. In NSW, simply separating from your de facto partner does not invalidate your existing Will. If you were to pass away tomorrow, that Will remains legally binding, and your former partner could be entitled to your entire estate. The only way to prevent this is to create a new Will immediately after you separate to ensure your assets are directed to the people you now intend to benefit.
I gave my ex-partner Power of Attorney. Surely they can't use that now that we've broken up?
They absolutely can, and this is an emergency you need to fix today. A Power of Attorney is a powerful legal document that is not automatically cancelled by your separation. Your ex-partner could still legally access your bank accounts and make significant financial decisions on your behalf. To protect yourself, you must formally revoke the document by signing a Deed of Revocation and, just as importantly, giving a copy to your bank and any other institution that holds the old Power of Attorney on file.
My superannuation is my biggest asset. Is it protected by my Will?
No, and this is the single biggest financial mistake people make. Your Will has no control over your superannuation. Your super is managed by a trustee who must pay it out according to the fund's rules, not your Will's instructions. The only way to direct where your super goes is to give your fund a valid Binding Death Benefit Nomination (BDBN). If your ex is still listed on your old nomination form, you must contact your fund immediately to complete a new one.
We were only together for a few years and didn't own much. Do I still need to worry about a formal property settlement?
Even if you don't have significant assets, finalising your financial relationship is key for your peace of mind and future security. Without a formal agreement (either through Consent Orders or a Binding Financial Agreement), the two-year window to make a claim remains open. This leaves the door open for a future claim on assets you acquire after the separation. Finalising the split draws a legal line in the sand and allows both of you to move on without the threat of future financial disputes.
Sources & Further Reading
- For Property Settlement Time Limits: The Family Court of Australia outlines the strict two-year time limit for de facto partners to apply for financial orders after separation.
Family Court of Australia - Time limits for property and financial orders - For the Effect of Separation on a Will: The NSW Succession Act 2006 governs what happens to a Will. Notably, unlike divorce, separation does not automatically revoke provisions favouring a former de facto partner.
Succession Act 2006 (NSW) - For Revoking a Power of Attorney: The NSW Powers of Attorney Act 2003 and guidance from the NSW Trustee & Guardian explain the legal requirements for making and revoking these documents.
NSW Trustee & Guardian - Power of Attorney - For Superannuation Death Benefits: The Australian Taxation Office (ATO) provides definitive guidance that superannuation is separate from your Will and is paid out according to a valid Binding Death Benefit Nomination (BDBN) or the trustee's discretion.
Australian Taxation Office (ATO) - Paying super death benefits - For Updating Relationship Status with Government Services: Services Australia outlines the requirement to notify them of a change in relationship status, as it can affect payments and eligibility for services like Centrelink and Medicare.
Services Australia - Telling us about a relationship change
Call us today on 1300 137 403 or email us here for a no-obligation private chat about your situation.
Drew Browne is a specialty Financial Risk Advisor working with Small Business Owners & their Families, Dual Income Professional Couples, and diverse families. He's an award-winning writer, speaker, financial adviser and business strategy mentor. His business Sapience Financial Group is committed to using business solutions for good in the community. In 2015 he was certified as a B Corp., and in 2017 was recognised in the inaugural Australian National Businesses of Tomorrow Awards. Today he advises Small Business Owners and their families, on how to protect themselves, from their businesses. He writes for successful Small Business Owners and Industry publications. You can read his Modern Small Business Leadership Blog here. You can connect with him on LinkedIn. Any information provided is general advice only and we have not considered your personal circumstances. Before making any decision on the basis of this advice you should consider if the advice is appropriate for you based on your particular circumstance.
